Monday, June 1, 2009

Aku Jadi Sayu.

I read a blog of a person who think of oneself being bad, naughty or vicious (I'm not sure what meaning does that person referring too).

The person rambles about a meeting with a long lost father and siblings. It appears to me to be very complex and sad. Complex as I can't figure how I would respond or how I would even feel if I'm in that position. Should I be happy, sad, nervous, angry, loathing or all the feelings mixed? Would I just stand there, or would I throw a plate, or would I give a good slap on a face, or would I cry a river, or would I just forget it all, be merry and be happy, or would I just be gone.

It's sad, for me, from a spectator point of view. From the eyes of a person who only sees (not necessarily be literally!) it happening to others. I had seen it when I was still in high school when a cousin of mine left by the husband and I can see even until today, how it affect their children. The kids may be lucky to have our whole families loving and caring for them, but, but it'll never be the same as love of the father. And what if the same happen to these kids 10 years from now when they don't know who their other sibling(s) is/are and how to react when the father don't even recognise his own kids who he pampered when they were little.

I wish that given the chance, my love shall be one, and one love only. I shall treasure that love of mine and care for her and our child. Given that even God have us separated, my love for the child will always be there. I won't let them forget about me and even more importantly, I'll never ever forget about them. I'll shower them with all the love in the world and earn my place in their heart.


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