Forgive and Forget...

When I was young (ehem...), they were perhaps one of my favourite band who I could listen to their songs thousand over time and not get bored by them. Catchy, youthful tune with great lyrics. All of a sudden, in 2009, their old records saves me again. It brings back the feelings that I have lost in the past few years.

I give me purpose. It makes me want to live and love. It makes me think of the impossible. Like wanting to love a single person in my entire life...

I think I’ve waited long enough.
Our world was once forget-me-nots
And now I wait another year.
I need you here.

I think I’ve heard this one before,
But it’s not you walking through my door.
And now I wait another year.
Now I wait another year.
I need you here.
I need you here.
need you here.
need you here.

Don’t bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have all gone by

Forgot what we fought for,
hard as I might,
don’t have the will to fight.

Forgive & forget
Whatever was said
cause we’re growing up
by the hour

I never would let
It go on like it did…
all good things
have endings.

Forgive & forget
Whatever was said
all good things
have endings.

Don’t bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have all gone by.

Forgot what we fought for,
hard as I might,
don’t have the will to fight.

Don’t bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have all gone by.

Forgot what we fought for,
Hard as I might,
Don’t have the will to fight.

more about the band here

With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept...

My sister who hold the record for walking home for almost 20km from her school are now going to study here in Kuala Lumpur. I'm happy for her and I feel the whole family are too. So now, I'm going to have to look after her and I'm quite happy for the fact that many of her roommates are cute. Hahaha....

Later that night, a cousin held a Majlis Makan Pulut Durian at her place. Her husband bought a half-truck full of durians and damn, they are good, good!

Now I'm gonna miss this two little fella. Yes, the one in orange shirt smiling at the camera and other one terlompat-lompat in green with blue stripes shirt at the back.

Jangan sedih Nik Danish Farhad. This Ayah Long of yours will be back home again soon! :D

Killed by an Angel

Aku tak pasti apa yang tidak kena dengan diri aku.

Kekadang merasa sangat happy, excited, confident, outgoing, semua menjadi, banyak berita baik.

Kekadang, yang mana ia lebih menyesakkan dada, merosakkan diri. Aku berasa sedih, duka, lara, hilang confident, rasa menyendiri, semua serba tidak kena, bad news tertampal sana sini, tidur tidak lena, makan makin banyak, resah, keluh berpanjangan, tiada mood, tugasan tidak selesai, perut memulas.

Ini aku rasa kembali pada soal hubungan sesama manusia. Dengan keluarga, rakan taulan, teman sepejabat. Atau mungkin being loveless menjadi punca?

I'm The Most Fallen Of The Fallen

I'm the most fallen of the fallen
The disease has me trapped
I'm empty too empty
Will you please fill me up?

I'm the lowest of the low
I can't seem to get up
I'm blinded too blind
I just cant seem to see

I'm the most fallen of the fallen
Will you please pick me up?

I'm afraid so afraid
Will you comfort me?

I'm the weakest of the weak
Will you please make me strong?

I'm nothing
I'm no one in your eyes
Falling...still falling

This Is My Serenade To The Ones I Love

This is my serenade to the ones I love
My mouth cant say the words
I hope you know who you are
So hard to express my emotions to you

I've known you for so long, still I cant say
I need you- I love you
I'm thankful- thank you

This is the serenade, I cannot sing
My pride is my cage, I'm all locked up
The words that come out are not what I mean
All I can say..this serenade is to you!

I Realise Sometimes My Dreams Are Somewhat Too Ridiculous, But Some Dreams Do Come True, Right? Even In The Most Unexpected Ways.

Sometime later this year, or maybe early next year, I plan to bring this band here.

They are The (International) Noise Conspiracy. T(I)NC was formed in Sweden in the late months of 1998. The line-up consists of Dennis Lyxzén (vocals - previously in the almighty Refused), Inge Johansson (bass - previously in Totalt Jävla Mörker), Lars Strömberg (guitar - previously in Separation), and Ludwig Dahlberg (drums - previously in Saidiwas). They are perhaps the reason why I didn't dig The Strokes that much when everyone was going apes over that band, simply because I think T(I)NC is far, far superior band, musically and idea-wise!

Please, please, some one out there who is rich enough to please invest in me to make this happen. I assure you that you'll get your return and a whole great experience!

more about the band here

How Can I Not Put This Up Much Earlier!

Must be there.




Anti-work, LAZY!

Toastmasters International

Pagi ini, sedang aku kusut, buntu, hilang akal, pedoman juga mungkin, aku decided untuk cuba rangka speech ucaptama aku untuk presentasi Toastmasters International yang entah bila aku akan di-slotkan.

Alih-alih, isi ucaptama ini lebih pada aku plagiat (mungkin), bait tulisan gibran, murakami, malah s. forbes. entah kenapa, saat aku nukilkan catatan aku, bait-bait mereka begitu sedang dan lancar sekali untuk di selitkan bagi tambah umph. Aku memang bukan penulis yang bagus (lihat saja blog ini, I hate to have my English or Malay to be written perfectly, boleh begitu?), tapi mungkin aku pembaca yang bagus barangkali, boleh aku hafalkan bait-bait mereka.

Tapi mungkin juga, all these while, bait-bait itu, punya pengaruh bagi diri aku. Mungkin.

Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart - Murakami, Kafka on the shore

Soal Enteng

Ah. Celaka. Kasar bahasa.

Sejak Khamis lepas aku fikir soal ini. Mungkin it's not that hard, that difficult if I focus on finding solution to it. Tapi sampai sekarang, Ahad pagi, aku masih buntu.

Cash Lab aku baru di pull-in Isnin yang lepas. Sebuah usaha grand untuk selamatkan syarikat. Talian nyawa terpenting saat kuarter tiga dan empat ini. Sangat genting. Deadline nya? Lagi seminggu.

Mungkin jalan selesainya tetap dengan aku ke pejabat. Mungkin!

Selamat tinggal jiwa raga.
Selamat tinggal Candace Chase!

Aku Gagal.

Tadi siang, aku gagal lagi.

Cita-cita menggunung mahu ke KLSFC.

Tapi akhirnya aku tumpas di tangan Bellamy.

Rojak Bellamy street to be exact.

Memang lumayan. Rojak, mee goreng, ayam goreng, beserta kek tempah khas dari Zen.

Gimana aku mahu hadapi separuh petang ini. Aduyai.

Jualan Langsung - IV

Greetings beautiful people,

You can start to pre-order the following now:-

1. Fucked Up - Hidden World CD (3 units available)
2. Paint It Black - New Lexicon CD (3 units available)
3. These Arms Are Snakes - Easter CD (3 units available)
4. Avail - Over The James CD (3 units available)
5. Avail - 4am Friday CD (3 units available)
6. Avail - Dixie CD (3 units available)
7. Strike Anywhere - To Live in Discontent CD (3 units available)
8. Strike Anywhere - Exit English CD (3 units available)
9. Denali - The Instinct CD (3 units available)
10. From Ashes Rise - Nightmares CD (3 units available)

Gosh. Finally they are here. All are awesome releases from Jade Tree Records. Expected arrival before 29th June 2009.

1. Young Widows/My Disco - split 7″ (3 units available)
2. Young Widows/Pelican - split 7″ (3 units available)
3. Young Widows/Melt Banana - split 7″ (3 units still available)
4. Mono - Hymn To The Immortal Wind 2xLP (2 units still available)
5. Envy/Thursday - split LP w/free CD (2 units still available)

Due to overwhelm response, we are bringing in Temporary Residence releases yet again! Expect more stuff later. But this batch of stuff will most likely be available by 29th June 2009 too.

Please reply to this post or text messages me to pre-order. No. of units available will be updated here every time I have time to update.

I still carry few final copies of Goblog with me. Those who are interested to grab ‘em, please get in touch!

I’m also carrying this brilliant pocket-size poetry book titled “Akulah Perempuan Muda Itu” (loosely translated as I Am That Young Lady) written by the young and talented Ms Shaira Amira. RM15 each. Grab them now!

Till then.

Hari Ini.

Olivia cita cinta ku,

Ingin aku beritahu kamu sesuatu.

Hari ini,
aku nekad.

Tinggalkan tugasan,
tinggalkan amalan.

Biarkan mereka, biarkan.

Aku tekad tinggalkan tugasan,
biarkan mereka terkapai menanti jawapan,
biar terlepas projek bilian-bilian,
biar tersapuh,terduduk memikir buku oder tak mampan.

Aku tekad,
Sudah nekad,
Jumaat ini,
KL Sentral Food Court tetap aku kunjungi!

I may be the type who manages to grab all the pointless things in life but lets the really important things slip away

Auch. Tepat ke muka. How am I suppose to turn this around?

I thought I do have the answer. Maybe I do.

But then again, I don't know how to. Maybe I do know how to, but change though it's constant, might not happen the way I wish them to...

Lost Opportunities, Lost Possibilities, Feelings We Can Never Get Back...

Tempohari aku punya sedikit uang lebih. Alhamdulillah, di saat ramai masih terkapai mencari kerja, aku biar sedikit, dapat juga merasa kenaikan. Berkat itu, aku bercadang, merancang untuk laksana niat terbantut.

Beli basikal.

Beli buku-buku Tongkat Warrant & Murakami terutamanya (beribu lagi yang lain - tapi aku bukan pembaca kental, tapi yang dua ini, entah kenapa, cepat benar aku absorb).

Beli kasut cantik Macbeth yang aku terlihat di Orchard road.

Bercuti di Redang bersama rakan taulan.

Itu semua antaranya.

Tapi, kita merancang, keluarga menentukan.

Tadi pagi, satu panggilan masuk. Di kampung perlu uang segera. OK. Aku redha.

Lenyap semua impian. Oh tidak, aku bukan mengeluh apa lagi kecewa dengan keluarga. Ikhlas, aku redha.

Cuma aku bayangkan, bila lagi semua itu boleh jadi realiti?

Pecah Kepala!

I had been suffering this headache since Monday.

It feels better today but it's still there, aching and breaking my head!

Aku Jadi Sayu.

I read a blog of a person who think of oneself being bad, naughty or vicious (I'm not sure what meaning does that person referring too).

The person rambles about a meeting with a long lost father and siblings. It appears to me to be very complex and sad. Complex as I can't figure how I would respond or how I would even feel if I'm in that position. Should I be happy, sad, nervous, angry, loathing or all the feelings mixed? Would I just stand there, or would I throw a plate, or would I give a good slap on a face, or would I cry a river, or would I just forget it all, be merry and be happy, or would I just be gone.

It's sad, for me, from a spectator point of view. From the eyes of a person who only sees (not necessarily be literally!) it happening to others. I had seen it when I was still in high school when a cousin of mine left by the husband and I can see even until today, how it affect their children. The kids may be lucky to have our whole families loving and caring for them, but, but it'll never be the same as love of the father. And what if the same happen to these kids 10 years from now when they don't know who their other sibling(s) is/are and how to react when the father don't even recognise his own kids who he pampered when they were little.

I wish that given the chance, my love shall be one, and one love only. I shall treasure that love of mine and care for her and our child. Given that even God have us separated, my love for the child will always be there. I won't let them forget about me and even more importantly, I'll never ever forget about them. I'll shower them with all the love in the world and earn my place in their heart.

Insha'Allah.

Kopitiam, Touch N' Go, Rompin, Maktua, Pantai Hiburan, Pening Lalat.

Entrance ke rumah To'ki pengantin perempuan kita

Rombongan Cik Kiah...

Mata bertentang mata...

Delegasi dari Amerika Selatan

Manisnya...kek itu!

Pantai Hiburan yang awesome!

Kenyang. Penat. Pening. Satisfied!

Ini beghuk. Haha.